Click here SALAMANCA 2016 (Chris-17, Linds-18, Jac-21, Mum-51, Dad-51)

SALAMANCA 2016

(gallery)

Thursday
Dad, Grandpa, and Grandpa's friend Mike cleverly drive to Bristol Lulsgate aerodrome, much of which journey through the verdant and sun-drenched countryside of North Somerset.
Become ensnared in airport parking trap for depositing departees. Fee paid on exit, so dad beats hasty retreat.
Easy passage through customs/security/frisking zone, and onward to retail emporia: WH Smith and the like.
(Actually, come to think of it, there was no passport inspection. Has the world come to its senses?)
Buy Private Eye.
Regard with envy wheelchairs and crutches smugly sported by VIP travellers.
Splendid flight.

Meanwhile, rest of lazy family traipse lazily around, lying in bed all day, and then visiting delightful town of Segovia. Massive ice creams, and so many/much tapas the waiter was embarrassed. (Tapas incident actually in Salamanca, but needs to be mentioned.)

Dad passes rapidly and stylishly through arrivals. Nearly manages to give slip to waiting offspring at disgorging point. Much amusement from subsequent game of hide 'n' 'seek'.
Big family reunion in hire car.

Mum drives cleverly all the way (2 hours) to Salamanca through occasional pouring rain and constant darkness.
In closing stages of journey see glow of Salamanca as welcoming beacon on clouds and mist.
Arrive in Salamanca. Be very excited. Rain all stopped.
Park car in free place. Stroll through town to Jacquie's flat, admiring all fine lit up buildings. Nice place, even at 1am.
Quick visit to Jacquie's pad. Nippers stay for all-night party.
Mum and dad to own hostel just round corner.
And so to bed.

Friday
Massive lie-in for mum and dad.
Do-it-yourself breakfast in hostel kitchen area, comprising daft non-toaster, tepid water jug for tea, and strange tomato spread/jam/puree. All quite delicious actually.
Out for early stroll around town. Head for cathedral(s). Go in.
Wow! What a great place!
Visit old and new semi-detached cathedrals. See massive cracks everywhere following the 1755 Lisbon earthquake, and big architectural staples holding building together.
Enjoy seeing many organs, paintings, frescos, statues and other noteworthy items.
Visit chapel where Salamanca students underwent their 24-hour gruelling torture degree session.
Learn much from audio guides. Lovely music playing, probably Victoria.
In main (new) semi-detached cathedral enjoy Mozart's Coronation Mass, as played by dad 2-3 weeks earlier.
Ace visit. Really ace.
Out into modern Salamanca for further leisurely stroll round a few corners to Jacquie's flat, being careful to avert eyes from noteworthy features, thus retaining joy and completeness of Jacquie's imminent city tour.
Visit special prehistoric cave ceiling painting (check details) next to university. Lots of blue, lots of stars, lots of astrological representations.
At flat discover blurry eyed nippers.
Enjoy enlivening cups of tea.
Embark on excellent ambulatory mission of discovery, lead by Jacquie, enjoyed by all. Dad quickly finds special university frog on head within famous intricate façade, aided by adjacent party pointing at it.
Be thrilled by privileged entry to university buildings, sensing power of great learning. See excellent courtyards. See excellent lecture rooms (doors thereto). Imbibe excellent atmosphere.
Continue tour of nice old town.
Visit special garden with daffodils, tulips, and viewing points.
Visit special Don Quixote tower place with climby steps.
Go to to Dominican monastery, learning excellent facts about mediaeval and early modern politics and rivalries between Dominicans and Jesuits. (Dominicans fairly reasonable? Jesuits arses?)
Enter monastery.
Monks long gone.
Extensive rooms, chapels, chapter houses, courtyards, galleries, small exhibition on Latin American destruction and conquest, enormous church to visit.
Feel presence of Christopher Columbus making petition for trip to Indies via westerly route. For here, indeed, is where it happened.
Enjoy visit.
Descend to river Tormes. Go on ancient Roman bridge.
Back outside for exciting immersion into bustling, modern Salamanca.
Nice visit to Plaza Mayor. Mum convinces party to sit at outside cafe and gorge selves on tapas and tinto de verrano. Very cheeky extravagance in the sunshine.
In Plaza Mayor learn about the famous stone medallions lining the walls: kings, historical persons, writers. Later learn that Duke of Wellington is only foreigner present for relieving siege of Salamanca and winning battle. (See later adventures.)
Modern Salamancans kindly taking siesta, thus leaving streets entirely to us.
Leisurely wander through town to Casa Lis art nouveau museum.
Go in.
Enjoy fabulous collection of art nouveau and art deco jugs, vases, mirrors, lamps, statuettes, portraits and paintings. Some really fantastic things.
Big collection of weird dolls and creepy toys from the 1920's.
Lots of statuettes of girls dancing in whacky animated poses.
Good.
Clever visit to supermarket to stock up on supplies and nibbles.
Quick rest, and then meet up at parents' pad for apéros, crisps and nibbles. Install selves in hostel communal area in special Morrocan room.
Then out into pounding Salamancan night life.
Thousands of people in streets. Hustle. Bustle.
Go to Rua Mayor restaurant for three course hearty slap up feast with wine to be had for 15 ickies each. Yum yum.
After dinner stroll around town admiring nice lit-up buildings.
In Plaza Mayor be entertained by one of many wandering minstrel guitar bands singing songs. Plaza Mayor heaving with people.
Go to cool pub/bar/theatre/house.
Cool pub/bar/theatre/house is big terraced town house with each bedroom converted into a micro theatre. The top bedroom is a cool pub, with cool roof-top terrace, cool people, and now cool us.
Have cool drink.
Mingle with actors and general bohemians flitting between performances.
At appointed hour proceed to correct bedroom/theatre to see funny play about Shakespeare and Cervantes waking up hungover in same modern hotel room after awards ceremony. En español.
Understand 25% of proceedings, and 10% of actual words.
Laugh at funny faces, falling over, surprised looks, etc. And laugh heartily when other people do.
Cooly mingle a bit in bar afterwards.
Cooly leave.
Back to Jacquie Towers. Then own hostel.
And so to bed.

Saturday.
Massive lie-in.
Tipping with rain. Torrential.
Drop bags at Jacquie's house and leave sleeping beauties to their slumbers.
Mum and dad cleverly go to Museo de Salamanca.
Freeeeeeeeeeee to get in on Saturdays.
Very nice collection of paintings. Gothic altarpieces, churchy paintings, renaissance, Italian baroque, 18c portraits, and some splendid 20c pieces. Lots of Flemish (old ties), Italian (grand tours), Spanish (local), and Salamancan (cheap) artists. All good. Some very good.
A few pots.
Rain now stopped.
Pleasant wander to fetch others.
All off to Museo Automocíon (car museum). Ace collection of cars from luxurious early models, through all types up to formula 1 racing cars.
Nippers predictably unimpressed by parental car-based memories.
See Tilly's cadillac.
Nice walk through town enjoying sunshine.
Dad cleverly buys local Salamancan delicacy, hornaza meat pie (check).
Quick final pack and lunch at Jacquie's.
Then route march en famille through suburbs to waiting car. Go past rubbish Universidad Pontifica.
Mum drives, cleverly ignoring all local knowledge and collective worldwide scientific and navigational experience. Bizarrely end up taking several wrong turns.
Drive past car museum. In car. Geddit?
Continue south into countryside for 20 minutes to visit Apriles, site of famous Battle of Salamanca in 1812. Gloucester regiment famously engaged. Turning point of Peninsular War, and arguably whole Napoleonic period. See hills and undulations behind which Wellington secreted forces.
Interesting.
Mum tries to lose car and passengers in quicksand. Dad saves day.
Drive back to Saladpanza for tearful farewell to Jacquie.
Hasta lluega!
Remaining family members set out on motorway for Ávila, admiring snow-crested mountains and lush valleys en route.
Visit walled town of Ávila. Fantastic mighty walls completely (probably) enveloping the hilltop town. Be impressed. Rest of town full of inbred charmless country folk smelling of asparagus and mouldy cheese and looking suspiciously at non-ávilians.
Cleverly misplace car. Remember parking space next to town wall. Confuse identical sections of town walls.
Eventually find car.
Leave.
Ávila: nice walls, little else.
Drive on to Madrid airport.
Deposit car successfully.
Quick snack in airport terminal.
Shuttle bus to palatial hotel Axor Barajas.
Explore exciting WiiZone, Cyberspace, Newsroom, fitness centre, and Relaxation Area. All great. And closed.
And so to bed.

Sunday
Up early. No lie-ins today.
Efficiently get organised, catch shuttle bus to terminal, catch aeroplane, and fly home.
Nice holiday.